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The Froggy Prince
by Scott Teel
Once upon a time, there was a young woman walking through her yard, when she heard a tiny voice call to her.
“Ribbit, ribbit,” said the voice. “Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.”
The young woman looked down and saw a frog sitting on a log, which she thought was cool, because it rhymed. “How did you know my name was ‘Ribbit?’” she asked the frog.
 “Lucky guess,” the frog replied. The woman was quite amazed, because she’d never seen a talking frog before, or any kind of talking animal, unless you counted the talking toad she’d encountered a day earlier, which she didn’t, because he was speaking Latin, which is a dead language.
“This is your lucky day!” the frog told her. “For I am in actuality a prince. I was turned into a frog by an evil witch for no good reason except that I had burned her cottage down and slaughtered all her family and pets.”
“My goodness!” the young woman cried. “Is there any way to break the spell? Like, if I kiss you, would you turn back into a prince?”
“Hey, how’d you know that? Have we met before somewhere? Did you go to Rutgers?”
“No, I just figured it out based on my knowledge of witches and the odd rules they always make for breaking spells. I mean, why even make a spell that can be broken? Why not just make it and leave it at that? Honestly, it doesn’t make sense.”
 “Perhaps the witches aren’t all bad, there’s a part of them deep down that’s good, and we simply misunderstand them, and punish them unjustly when they’re really only trying to make us see the folly of our own ways. When I’m a prince again, I am so going back to kill that witch.”
“Well, I’ll give you a kiss, little Froggy Prince,” the young woman told him, and she leaned over and picked him up. The Froggy Prince was so excited by this that he peed in her hand, which frogs are wont to do, and the young woman was so disgusted that she hurled him under the blades of a passing lawn mower, where he was splashed all over its underside like so much Froggy Prince Spaghetti-O’s.
The Moral of the Story Is: Always go to the bathroom before a big date.
© 2005 Scott Teel
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